7 Qualities of Healthy Grieving
“Grieving is an aspect of love, and healthy grieving is an act of love and remembering love.” ~William DeFoore The death of a beloved sets our minds in a whirlwind. We try to protect ourselves from the enormity of anger, shock, and denial in an attempt to interrupt and even stop the deep anguish of
Can Funerals Be Joyful?
You bet! Not to say they aren’t sad, there’s also a lot of grief that loved ones are feeling. I even see anger expressed at times. But to find joy in the celebration of a life well lived can be uplifting, meaningful and help us find the peace we need to walk into our tomorrows.
Five Really Cool Reasons to Adopt a Pet
If you are a pet owner, then you already know how much benefit there is to being a pet owner. Pets add real joy, companionship, and unconditional love to name just a few! For those of you wondering if bringing another family member into the house is really a good idea, here are 5 really
From Chaos to Control
Take Back Control of Your Life After A Time of Chaos Slow down. Sometimes the desire for closure is so strong that you might jump to hasty conclusions about your experience and yourself. Give yourself time to sort through your memories and discover their meaning. Practice self-care. Protecting your physical and mental wellbeing will help
Can I Find Closure?
Are you searching for closure? It’s natural to want some resolution after a loved one dies, or you experience a similar loss. Closure means moving through and beyond the pain and suffering of grief and is unique to each person. Just as no two people grieve the same, so no two people find closure. Grief
The Power of Self-Belief
If you believe in yourself, there is little to stop you in whatever you want to accomplish. It gives you the power to push forward and to defy the odds; it’s part of being resilient. The more your belief in yourself grows, the more you will be able to handle any roadblocks that come your
End of Life – From a Nurses Perspective
Sadly, I can’t say I remember my first code or even the first death I witnessed. Unfortunately, there have been so many over the years. Not to minimize any life that has crossed my path, but after 16+ years, it does all start to blend together. There are a few who stand out – but
Creating the New Normal
What is this “New Normal” we’ve heard so much about during the pandemic? We hear it all the time, but do any of us really know what it is? It’s a term to describe that new way of life that emerges after a crisis, the new habits and routines, the new way of living. We
Avoid Burnout with These 3 Tips
Burnout is a real and quite damaging condition and can have a significant impact on your resilience and ability to enjoy life. Once you find yourself suffering from burnout, it can be difficult to turn your life around. This is why it is crucial to take steps to try and avoid burnout. Set Boundaries No
Five Things to Know About Public Safety Chaplains
Our front-line workers have a dangerous and stressful job! Watch any group of fire-fighters around the firehouse table, and it looks pretty good. They laugh, eat great food and even better desserts, play cards. In other words – they’re just hanging out having a good time, right? The goal of a fire chaplain is to
Grief is Traumatic
Grief is traumatic. It’s the human response to a great loss or trauma. While we typically think of grief as the response to death, which it is, you can grieve for any loss. People often go through a period of grief when diagnosed with a terminal illness, after a breakup, a relocation, an amputation, a
How to Be Happier in Your Own Skin
You can change many things about your life, but your skin isn’t one of them. This is why it’s good to learn to be happy in your own skin. The problem is, it is often a lot easier said than done. Here are a few ways you can learn to be happier just as you
A Blessing and A Curse
People in the helping professions are routinely exposed to the raw side of humanity. This is both a blessing and a curse. It’s a blessing because few people are privileged to witness these things: When a dying person looks into your eyes, when you console a parent who lost their child or ease the respirations
Inspired by Heros’ – Become A Hero Yourself!
Think back to a time when someone inspired you. It could be a speaker at a conference you attended, a teacher or mentor along the way, or you could have heard a success story of someone you look up to. Whatever the case, the motivation of others can strengthen how you see yourself. You have
6 Reasons You Should Go On A Retreat This Year
A retreat is an opportunity to get away from the clamor and chaos of life and focus on yourself. A retreat offers sacred time to look beyond our day to day schedules and obligations and rediscover what lies beneath the surface – those things we truly value that guide our choices, attitudes, and relationships. Retreats
15 Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me About Grief
There are some really basic things about grief that I wish I knew years ago! Knowing might have made grieving my parent’s and brother’s deaths a bit easier. Here’s a quick and succinct list of the things I learned along the way. If you finish this post and are frustrated because I didn’t include your
4 Myths about Dying That It’s Time to Debunk
Over time, many beliefs have been adopted about the dying process. While some are true, several are just myths, developed as people across the centuries have tried to understand something all of us go through, yet few truly understand. These misconceptions can interfere with receiving the best care possible at end of life. Debunking these
Grief Sucks! Grievers Don’t
I love the way my friend Crystal approaches grief. She is right out there, no BS, and gets right to the heart of it. Grief. Sucks! In her book Confessions of a Griever: Turning a Hot Mess into an Haute Message (Laughable Lessons for When Life Just Sucks) Crystal brings us into her world of
Resilience: What it is and Why it Matters
When your world has suddenly fallen into chaos, you tend to hit survival mode pretty quickly. Your life becomes focused on just getting through the day. Beyond that, you don’t have the time or energy even to care. The best times for personal growth are when our world has turned upside down and we’re being
5 Ways to Experience Personal Growth… even in the midst of chaos
When your world has suddenly fallen into chaos, you tend to hit survival mode pretty quickly. Your life becomes focused on just getting through the day. Beyond that, you don’t have the time or energy even to care. The best times for personal growth are when our world has turned upside down and we’re being
Five Easy Ways to Build Resilience
Box Breathing – Also known as 4-square breathing, this exercise helps to clear your mind, relax your body, and improve your focus. Not only is it highly effective, but it’s also quick to learn and easy to do. Close your eyes (if you are in a place where you can) and breathe in through your
The Truth About Children’s Grief: 4 Myths It’s Time To Reconsider
My grandmothers both died when I was about 12 years old. I remember the morning Meme died. I was upstairs in my bedroom and heard all the commotion and hushed talking. Dad didn’t go to work that day; everyone was grouchy. I was shuttled off to school wondering what the heck was going on. They
When Traditions Change: Remembering Loved Ones At The Holidays
Thanksgiving used to be one of my favorite holidays. With 20-25 close family members gathered around, we laughed. We ate. We went for a walk. And ate some more! From my childhood, I remember the teeny little crystal glasses with handles even my small fingers couldn’t grasp filled with all sorts of liqueurs. “After dinner
In Chaos Are Stars
Three things I do when life feels out of control I joined a mastermind recently. It’s amazing! The information, support, experience, community are the best by far. I love it! And I hate it! There is so much involved that there are days I feel totally lost on what I should do next. My desk
Because We Moms NEVER Feel Guilty!!
There are so many things moms can and do feel guilty about. “Will I breastfeed or use formula?” when our children are newborns to “What college should we choose?” when our children are beginning to leave home. Does this describe you? We feel guilty when we choose fast food instead of a homemade dinner with organic
Be My Guest with Jan Lewis, Upton Public Television
(Watch Interview Here) My name is Jan Lewis and I am the Host of “Be My Guest!”, a television interview program that airs on Youtube and locally online. I read the article in the Community Advocate about your work as an end-of-life coach, and I think it is wonderful! I would like to extend an
The Community Advocate – Life Coach, Rev. Lee Atherton
Marlborough-based End-of-Life Coach Rev. Lee Atherton: Driven by Faith Reverend Lee Atherton is a professional officiant and life coach. She offers highly personalized services for anyone facing one of life’s momentous transitions.Inclusive and welcoming, Atherton believes that no matter who you are or where you are on life’s journey, you are welcome. An ordained minister and
GRIEVING AND THE HOLIDAYS
Holidays, whether religious or secular, are especially painful for those who are grieving. The death of someone you love can make this “most wonderful time of the year” anything but joyful and bright. Grieving During the Holidays Grieving this last year in the midst of Covid-19 has left many feeling more isolated and lonely than
CELEBRATING LOIS – FUNERALS AND LOLLIPOPS
Several years ago when I began working at AseraCare Hospice, I was introduced to an extraordinary woman named Lois. My colleague Judy knew her long before she had dementia and long before I began caring for her. She heard Lois, accompanied by a famous pianist, sing with grace, beauty and intensity. Her joy and passion in life were
AM I GOING CRAZY? NO, YOU’RE IN GRIEF
Grief is a natural reaction to losing an important person or thing. You may feel all kinds of emotions like you are going crazy! This might include sadness or loneliness. And you could experience it for many reasons. Could be the death of a loved one, a relationship ended, or you lost your job. Other
GRAM’S BUSH – A YOUNG CHILD’S EXPERIENCE OF DEATH
I attended the funeral of a beloved Grandmother. One of her grandchildren, James, who is 6 years old, spent that last week of life with Gram. What an amazing gift they both received before her death! Children and Experience of Death We often try to avoid conversations about death and dying even though death happens just
CREATING A LASTING TRIBUTE
What is a tribute? A tribute is a clear indication of the abilities and accomplishments of an individual. Saying or doing anything in honor of, or to show regard and respect for a person, you pay tributes. How do you want your loved one to be remembered? What is most important for you to share with
HOW WILL YOU LIVE YOUR DYING?
One of the most difficult messages to hear from your medical practitioner is “This is a terminal illness. You only have a limited time to live.” How do you want to live the time you have left? Do you have a bucket list? Who do you want to visit with again? What relationships need mending?
MY VALUES. MY WISHES. MY DIGNITY.
Mom died over 25 years ago. When I look back at that last year of her life, I see so many gifts she gave to her children and grandchildren. It was clear that she had put thought into how her dying would impact those she loved most. That “D” word, even today, is one that
ON THE GROUND WITH CCW (CRAZY CORONA WORLD) – REFLECTIONS IN A TIME OF PANDEMIC
I don’t have words of prophetic wisdom. I don’t know how to answer the age-old question “Why?. But I do know this: The Love we’ve kept buried in the world we lived in is blossoming in ways I haven’t seen in years! In the midst of the fears that kept us from saying hello to
NAVIGATING GRIEF DURING THE HOLIDAYS
Going through the “Firsts” of grief can be one of the most difficult parts of grief. If you’re wondering how to survive the holidays without your loved one, here are some strategies you may find helpful. 1. Remember That Time Doesn’t Heal All Wounds Grief doesn’t just go away after a short time. When others say
I TOOK THE PLUNGE!
When, in your life, have you just jumped in with both feet not quite knowing what will happen next? It takes a whole lot of courage! That’s for sure! How do I know? I just did it over the summer. After quite a while having a steady income (who doesn’t like that?!) and doing work
MARRIAGE; THE MAKINGS OF A PERFECT SOUFFLÉ
“A soufflé isn’t the soufflé, a soufflé is the recipe.” – Clara Oswald, Dr. Who A few weeks back I was going over my Easter menu and as I mentioned the possibility of a soufflé a good friend immediately asked, “well isn’t that hard”? Well sure, but isn’t it worth it? Look, we have all
WEDDING GUESTS
Who Should We Invite? Sure, we could go back to Emily Post and see what she says about this sticky subject. There’re whole websites dedicated to wedding etiquette. We’d find all the traditional “Do this”, “Do that”, “Remember if you invite Aunt June then you better be sure to invite her 5 kids and their
SONG LYRICS AS READINGS
Using Your Favorite Love Song in Your Ceremony Wedding ceremonies often include a “reading”. Sometimes it is a reading from the sacred text of the bride’s or groom’s faith tradition; sometimes a favorite love poem. Readings that speak to the couple can set the tone of the ceremony. Whether read by the Officiant,
ARE CHRISTIANS REALLY SUPPOSED TO BE CELEBRATING HALLOWEEN?
Pastor Lee answers: Are Christians really supposed to be celebrating Halloween? First let me say that whatever you hope the answer is, you’ll find an article or blog on line backing you up – whether you are Christian or not. I never put too much thought into this until my very conservative neighbors moved in.
SHE SAID YES TO THE DRESS!! MOM’S PERSPECTIVE
My daughter’s getting married in June 2019. She’s got lots of time to plan, so when she heard that a nearby bridal shop was having huge going out of business sale, she asked me to go check it out with her. We both figured it couldn’t hurt to start daydreaming. So off we went spur
WHY YOU SHOULD BRING YOUR BABY TO CHURCH
As a clergy person who preaches every Sunday morning and is often found at weddings and funerals, I often get to tell parents, “Don’t stay away. You and your baby are welcome!” In fact one of my church members has fun teasing me when she sees me sway while I pray. Or sing. Or… Anything I’m doing
WHY SHOULD I GIVE SOMETHING UP FOR LENT?
I’m not Catholic! Why should I give up something for Lent? “I’ll quit smoking!” “I’m not going to eat meat.” “No more swearing for lent – catch me do it and I’ll put a quarter in the jar!” Are you scratching your head over this one? This traditionally Catholic practice can actually be a practice
FIVE REASONS TO CONSIDER A MEMORIAL SERVICE INSTEAD OF A FUNERAL
Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. – Norman Cousins Funerals and Memorials both serve the same purpose. They are an important ritual of saying goodbye to our loved one. They both can be as long or as short as you’d like
DO WE NEED A WEDDING REHEARSAL?
I don’t require a rehearsal, but there are lots of points to consider before you opt out. There’s more confidence going into a ceremony and less chance for a snafu if you are able to have one. Knowing the purpose of a rehearsal is the first step to deciding. Do you and your participants
5 WAYS TO PREPARE TO MEET WITH YOUR OFFICIANT
Be Ready To Share Your Stories Your officiant should get to know you well so that he or she is able to make your ceremony uniquely yours. Be ready to share the stories of how you met, how you were engaged, who you are as individuals and what you look forward to as a married