• Don’t assume I won’t understand or that I can’t handle it. Death is a part of life, and children are curious about it. It is our responsibility to ensure that our young people understand that death is a natural part of life. Talk to them about death with the same ease as you talk about other important things. This way they are reassured that there is nothing to be afraid of. 

• You don’t need to have all the answers. In fact, I don’t know anyone who does have all the answers. Answer your child’s question in simple, easy to understand terms. If you don’t know the answer, it’s ok to say, “I don’t know.” Children need to know they can ask you anything without you being angry, judgmental, or belittling. 

• Let me see the body if I want. Parents often worry that it will be too scary for a child to see a dead body. Remember, a child’s imagination is usually worse than reality. Just be sure to prepare your child by telling them what to expect. They need to understand what viewing the body will mean.

• Don’t try to fix me or take my grief away. Grieving takes time – for children as much as for adults. Some signs your child may need professional help include nightmares, belief that the world isn’t safe, ongoing behavior problems that don’t ease over time, detachment from the people or things they used to enjoy.

• Let me laugh and play. Laughter can help a great deal. Even grownups benefit from laughter. It helps us feel better. For many children play is the only way to work through hard times, from everyday challenges to fear and anxiety, even death and grief. Imaginative play helps children better understand reality. But don’t think a child isn’t grieving just because they’re playing and laughing. 

• Children are resilient; they bounce back. They will often grieve in short bursts, expressing their emotions full on rather than dwell on a particular feeling. The younger a child is, the more quickly the outburst will end. But that doesn’t mean they are not sad. Children need as much compassion and understanding as adults.

• I learn from you. I’m like a sponge and will soak up everything I see or hear you do. When you cry, then I know it’s ok to cry. When you scream, I learn that the only way to grieve is to scream and yell. And I’ll want to be louder. Remember that when you express your grief in appropriate ways, I learn from your patterns and styles. 

• Tell me stories. Sharing your stories helps me remember too. Encourage children to draw pictures or write my own stories. Sharing happy memories helps grief heal. Always comfort and reassure your child.

Grandma’s not lost! Don’t use euphemisms when talking with children about death. Saying that someone is lost sets up an expectation that they can be found and will return. If Grandma is lost why aren’t you out looking for her?

The post The Ten Commandments on Grief – From A Child’s Point of View appeared first on CoachRev.

For those of you wondering if bringing another family member into the house is really a good idea, here are 5 really good reasons! Pets can…

Reduce Stress – for you and your children

Especially in this post-pandemic world, stress is through the roof! According to the World Health Organization, over 80% of adults surveyed are feeling significant stress after the 2-year pandemic anniversary. The statistics for children and teens are even more alarming. Your pet has an innate ability to reduce stress. Adding a pet to your family can decrease the tension, arguments, anger, frustration, and more that come with increased stress. Studies also show that pets can lower our blood pressure and heart rate, and ease depression and loneliness.

Keep You Active

Not only are pets good at helping us manage our stress levels, but they also encourage us to be active and playful, and even improve our cardiovascular health.  Some pets, like exuberant energy-filled puppies, force us to get up and be active. We can’t be a couch potato if Fido’s wagging tail is telling us to get up and get that leash! They give you a reason to get outside, and get some fresh air which is proven to improve your mood, your sleep, and your mental health.

Keep You Young

Pets can be especially helpful for older folks. Studies have shown that people who have pets tend to live longer than those who don’t. In a healthy aging survey, adults over fifty reported several benefits including these top three benefits:

• They felt a deeper sense of purpose
• They felt calmer and more peaceful
• They experienced more social connection

Give Unconditional Love (and who doesn’t need that in this crazy world of 2022?!)

The emotional bond that we form with our pets is second-to-none. Some people form stronger bonds with their pets than they do with other humans. Dogs and humans who interact with each other get a jolt of oxytocin – the Love Hormone. Think about how your “best friend” reacts when you come home from work, even after a hard day that has left you grumpy. They are always happy to see us! Everyone needs that emotional connection.  Pets love us unconditionally, and they never judge us. Pets also get the benefit of living in a loving environment for which, they return that love in abundance.

Make You Laugh!

I’ve heard it said that laughter is the best medicine. Did you know that smiling can boost your mood and happiness level? It sure does – even if it’s forced! Those crazy cat antics that abound on YouTube don’t let us down! A kitten’s and puppy’s playfulness are usually good for a laugh or two as well.  I have a pet I call “Digger Dude.” He might be a shrimp; I’m not sure. But he is SO much fun to watch! This creature is always recreating the landscape of my aquarium and to watch it scurry back and forth moving mounds of pebbles and even pushing snails out of the way brings a smile to my face and makes me chuckle.

The post 5 Reasons to Adopt A Pet appeared first on CoachRev.

The post CELEBRATING LOIS – FUNERALS AND LOLLIPOPS appeared first on CoachRev.

Everyone grieves differently. But if you understand your emotions, take care of yourself, keep healthy habits, and seek support, you can heal.

The death of one we love leaves us feeling overwhelmed and our bodies react in many ways to that out-of-control feeling. You may feel like you’re “losing it” and wonder if your reaction is normal. Chances are it is. If you are concerned, reach out to your doctor, counselor, or a trusted friend.

Bodily Reactions to Grieving

These are some of the ways our bodies react to loss and mourning:

1.  Chest pains or heart problems
2. Dry mouth
3. Fatigue
4. Dizziness
5. Empty feeling in the stomach
6. Feeling of “something stuck in my throat”
7. Headache
8. Inability to sleep
9. Sleeping all the time
10. Loss of sexual desire or having overly active sexual desire
11. Loss of weight or weight gain
12. Nausea and vomiting
13. Increased allergic reactions
14. Oversensitivity to noise
15. Purposeless activity
16. Hyperactivity
17. Shortness of breath
18. Trembling
19. Uncontrollable sighing and sobbing
20. Muscle weakness
21. Various gastrointestinal symptoms: constipation, diarrhea, or excessing gas

When you’re grieving, you could be tempted to try to numb your feelings with drugs, alcohol, food, or even more work. But be careful. These are temporary and probably unhealthy escapes that won’t make you heal faster or get better in the long run. Actually, they can lead to addiction, anxiety, depression, or even an emotional breakdown.

Instead of taking that route, why not try these things to help you come to terms with your loss and begin to heal:

Give yourself time. Acknowledge your feelings and know that grieving is a process.
Talk to others. Spend time with friends and family. Don’t isolate yourself.
Take care of yourself. Regularly exercise, eat healthily, and get enough sleep to stay healthy and energized.
Return to your hobbies. Take up activities that bring you joy.
Join a support group. Speak with others who are also grieving. It can help you feel more connected.

The post AM I GOING CRAZY? NO, YOU’RE IN GRIEF appeared first on CoachRev.