Grief is hard work.
It is personal, demanding, and often isolating.

Grief is as unique as the fingerprints of our soul. In loss, we may find ourselves wandering through unfamiliar territory, carrying memories of what was while trying to make sense of what now is. In these moments, friendship becomes more than comfort — it becomes a lifeline.

Why Friendship Matters in Grief

At first, you may need many listening ears. Over time, what often matters most are just a few trusted friends — companions who will stay with you for the long journey toward healing.

As Pat Schwiebert, Executive Director of GriefWatch, reminds us, “Grief needs a face.” For some, reaching out comes naturally. For others, the instinct is to withdraw and hide away. While time alone can be important, prolonged isolation often makes grief harder to bear. Finding balance between solitude and connection is key.

The Gift of Being Truly Known

Friends who have laughed and cried with us understand the depth of our love for the one who has died. They hold pieces of our story that are precious and grounding. Their presence reminds us that the love we shared was real and witnessed.

We need friends with open arms — those who will offer comfort when we feel untouchable.
We need friends with open ears — those who will listen without judgment and remain steady even when our words are messy or raw.

Sometimes, we need friends who can help us face feelings of guilt, anger, or bitterness. Being accompanied during these dark moments can bring quiet relief as we begin to absorb the weight of our emotions.

Presence Over Answers

Perhaps the greatest gift a friend can offer is simply being there. Sitting beside us. Holding a hand. Listening without rushing us toward solutions.

Friends help us find moments of peace — not by erasing our pain, but by helping us carry it. Their willingness to hear our stories of love and loss validates our grief and creates space for healing.

Finding Support That Fits You

Support comes in many forms. Some find it in close friends or family. Others turn to clergy, counselors, or grief support groups. What matters most is finding support that feels safe and accessible for you — and allowing yourself to receive it.

Wishing you many great listeners and gentle companions,
Lee

The post The Healing Power of Friendship in Grief appeared first on CoachRev.

Grieving is hard work.
It is physically taxing, mentally demanding, and spiritually challenging.

I can’t think of any other work that compares to grief’s intensity or its impact. The exhaustion that comes with grieving can feel similar to the fatigue after heavy physical labor — except it lingers, and there is no clear finish line.

How Grief Affects the Body

Grief does not live only in our emotions.
It lives in our bodies.

The physical toll of grief often surprises people. Many of these reactions are sometimes mistaken for strictly medical problems, when they may actually be part of the body’s natural response to loss.

Below are some common physical symptoms of grief.

Common Physical Symptoms of Grief

• Chest pains or heart-related sensations

• Dizziness

• Dry mouth

• An empty or hollow feeling in the stomach

• Fatigue or lack of energy

• A sensation of something “stuck” in the throat

• Headaches

• Difficulty sleeping

• Sleeping much more than usual

• Loss of sexual desire, or at times an unusually increased sexual desire

• Weight loss or weight gain

• Nausea or vomiting

• Increased allergic reactions

• Oversensitivity to noise

• Restlessness or purposeless activity

• Hyperactivity

• Shortness of breath

• Trembling

• Uncontrollable sighing or sobbing

• Muscle weakness

• Gastrointestinal symptoms such as constipation, diarrhea, or excessive gas

Any of these symptoms can be a normal part of grieving. They are ways the body responds to the profound stress of losing someone we love.

When to Seek Medical Care

If physical symptoms persist, worsen, or become very uncomfortable, it is important to make an appointment with your physician.

Be sure to tell them that you have experienced a recent major loss. Grief does not replace medical care — but it deserves to be considered as part of the picture.

When the Body Mirrors the Loss

Some people notice physical symptoms similar to those experienced by the person who died. For example, if your loved one died from a heart attack, you may notice chest discomfort. If they died from a brain tumor, headaches may increase.

This can be an unconscious way of identifying with the person who died and feeling close to them. It is another way the body expresses grief.

Your Body Is Communicating With You

Right now, you may not feel in control of how your body is responding. Your body is communicating the stress and sorrow you are carrying.

While these experiences can feel frightening, they are usually temporary.

You are not broken.
Your body is grieving too.

Wishing you comfort and health,
Lee

The post The Physical Symptoms of Grief: When Your Body Is Mourning Too appeared first on CoachRev.

Before doing so, however, be reminded that your grief is your own — no one else’s. It may feel different for you now than if someone close to you died in years past. Grief is never the same twice. Your friends can’t feel your loss in the same way that you can, either. Their life won’t be affected the same way yours will be. Your grief is unique.

Having said that, it might help you to understand some of the most common emotions you may experience.
What follows is not a checklist, but a way of naming some common emotional experiences that many grievers recognize.

Shock

You may feel dazed and stunned, especially during the time immediately following the death. This is nature’s way of temporarily protecting you psychologically until you are more able to tolerate what you don’t want to believe.

Anxiety

As your head and heart begin to miss the person who died, you may naturally feel anxious. You may ask yourself, “Am I going to be okay? Will I survive this? Will my life have any purpose without this person?” You may feel vulnerable, even unable to survive, without the person who died.

Anger

Anger and its cousins — hate, blame, resentment, rage, and jealousy — are normal responses to the death of someone loved. With loss comes the desire to protest. You have two avenues for expression — outward or inward. Expressing anger outward in safe, healthy ways can lead to healing; turning it inward often does not. In fact, keeping your explosive emotions inside can lead to low self-esteem, depression, guilt, and physical complaints. Critical to healing is finding someone who doesn’t judge you but allows you to feel whatever you feel.

Guilt

When someone you care about dies, it’s natural to have a case of the “if only’s.” While these feelings of guilt or regret are natural, they sometimes aren’t logical to those around you.  Remember — thinking is logical; feelings are not.

Sadness

Sadness may be the most hurtful feeling on your journey toward wholeness. We don’t want to be sad. Sadness saps pleasure from our lives. Sadness makes us feel crummy. Dr. Alan Wofelt writes, “I suggest you say out loud right now, ‘I have every right to feel sad!”

Naming the feelings and acknowledging them are the first steps to dealing with them! Naming these emotions is not about fixing them — it’s about allowing them to be part of the journey.

Wishing you peace and calm as you journey,
Lee

The post The Emotions of Grief, Part 2: Understanding Common Grief Feelings Volume 5 appeared first on CoachRev.

Sometimes you may feel one or two emotions at a time.
Other times, it can feel as though all of them arrive at once.

They are tangled and mixed together, making it difficult to sort out exactly what you are feeling — or even to name it.

Grief emotions are unpredictable. One moment you may feel relatively steady, and the next you may find yourself crying uncontrollably. If this happens, please know that there is nothing wrong with you. This is a normal part of grieving.

At times, emotions can feel overwhelming or out of control. Facing them may leave you feeling numb, angry, exhausted, helpless, or confused. All of this belongs to grief. For the most part, no matter what you are feeling, it is okay.

The time to seek immediate help is if you feel like you might hurt yourself or someone else. Otherwise, even the most uncomfortable emotions are often part of the natural grieving process.

A Few Important Things to Remember About Emotions

Who you are is not defined by your emotions.
Feelings do not determine your character, your strength, or your worth.

Emotions come and go.
Even the most intense feelings tend to shift over time.

Feelings are not good or bad — they simply are.
They are signals, not judgments.

It is okay to feel sad and to cry.
Tears are one way the body releases grief.

It is also okay to feel happy, laugh, and have fun.
You cannot be sad all the time. Sometimes stepping away from the work of grieving — even briefly — is necessary and healthy.

It is okay to feel afraid.
You may worry about finances, daily responsibilities, or who will take care of certain things now. You may fear what the future holds, or worry about losing others you love. These fears are common. Talking with a trusted friend or family member about them can help ease the weight.

You may feel relief.
If death followed a long illness or a difficult situation, relief can arise. This can be hard to admit, but it is normal and does not diminish your love.

It is okay to feel disorganized or panicked.
Some people experience anxiety or panic attacks during grief. It is common to wonder, “Am I going crazy?” These feelings are typically temporary, though uncomfortable. Being near people you trust and sharing what you’re experiencing can help.

It is okay to feel nothing at all.
Numbness is one way your emotional self protects you from overwhelming shock. As Dr. Alan Wolfelt writes:

“Thank goodness for shock, numbness, and disbelief! These feelings are nature’s way of temporarily protecting you psychologically until you are more able to tolerate what you don’t want to believe.”

Expressing What You Feel

One of the most important things you can do is allow yourself to express your emotions freely. When feelings are suppressed, they often resurface later in more painful ways.

If you are unsure whether what you’re feeling is okay, or if emotions begin to feel unmanageable, reach out to your primary care provider, clinician, or CoachRev for guidance and support.

You do not have to sort through the tangled ball of emotions alone.

Wishing you peace and calm as you journey,
Lee

The post The Emotions of Grief: Understanding the Tangled Ball of Feelings #4 appeared first on CoachRev.