cradmin, Author at CoachRev

The Power of Self-Belief

cradmin — Wed, 16 Mar 2022 14:01:00 +0000

If you believe in yourself, there is little to stop you in whatever you want to accomplish. It gives you the power to push forward and to defy the odds; it’s part of being resilient. The more your belief in yourself grows, the more you will be able to handle any roadblocks that come your way. You will also be able to brush off the naysayers. It gives you peace of mind when you stick to your self-belief.

To keep strong in your self-worth, you need to define your goals. You wouldn’t expect a general to fight a war without a map. You too need a map to guide you moving forward. Too many people skip this step and wonder why they aren’t getting anywhere.

Goals are your roadmap, but confidence in yourself, and belief that success is possible are what make them possible. The belief and confidence create the energy you need to take action. It helps you to focus on getting your tasks complete.

Confidence is a powerful tool that attracts others to you. They will follow your lead, as you show them what is possible. When you run into stumbling blocks (and you will), that confidence will help you overcome them. You will know how to take alternative action when necessary. The people following you will respect that as well.

Several forces will try to beat you down. You may even find yourself letting it happen. You need to be centered on why you started your journey in the first place. Use affirmations to reinforce your message of self-worth and read them every morning. This helps you begin the day with a perspective of strength and determination.

Unfortunately, negativity comes from a lot of directions as people (even friends and family) try to tell you that you can’t accomplish your goal. They believe they’re helping you avoid disappointment. Don’t succumb to this negative pressure and give up. One way to prevent doing so is to join groups of like-minded people. It can be related to your business, or it can be groups that focus on self-help. Such organizations are a good tool for pushing the negative forces out.

Attending these groups’ meetings or other gatherings can sometimes lead to friendships with people where you can extend encouragement even more. You may even form business partnerships from these friendships. It’s good to know that you have the support of these people. They understand when everyone else around you doesn’t.

“If you hear a voice within you say, ‘you cannot paint,’ then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.” ~Vincent van Gogh

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End of Life – From a Nurses Perspective

cradmin — Wed, 09 Mar 2022 15:10:00 +0000

Sadly, I can’t say I remember my first code or even the first death I witnessed. Unfortunately, there have been so many over the years. Not to minimize any life that has crossed my path, but after 16+ years, it does all start to blend together. There are a few who stand out – but I will save their stories for another day. However, each experience – each life – has been a small part of my molding – shaping who I am, teaching me a lesson. And those lessons I try to pass on.

We rarely talked about death in my nursing program – the model for our nursing school was based on restoring people to their highest level of functioning – death doesn’t always fit into that equation. So, when I came out of school, I was clueless. In my personal life, I had not had anyone close to me pass away, so I really didn’t even have that frame of reference to draw from. However, working in critical care areas – I had to learn quickly!

One of the areas in nursing school I often find students (and many staff nurses) continually confused is regarding end-of-life decisions, DNR, and now allow natural death. Although state laws typically dictate who and when these decisions can be made, there are few “constants” that are true across state lines.

So, here are some lessons learned along the way about end of life decisions:

We have to feel comfortable about the topic first – if we are not comfortable with the reality of death, then we certainly won’t feel comfortable talking with our patients. Unfortunately, in our American society, we don’t like to admit that no one has evaded death. It is taboo and considered impolite. We have to start with our own thoughts and feelings about the topic before we help others.
Every decision starts with a conversation – we can’t be afraid to discuss end of life decisions with people. As time goes on, it becomes even harder to broach the topic, especially with our loved ones. Asking about a patient’s code status starts the conversations, opens the door and allows them a safe place to ask questions. The conversation is CRUCIAL!
It doesn’t matter what paper is filled out if the person appointed can not carry out the wishes – this is why the conversation is so crucial. If the person a patient (or yourself) wishes to appoint to make medical decisions for you can not fulfill them, then they are not the right person. When push comes to shove, they will override your decisions “on paper” and the law will support them. As one wise intensivist once said, “It’s not the person in the grave who will come back to complain or sue us, it’s the person who is left to make the decisions.” Sadly, I have repeatedly seen patients’ advanced directives not honored. However, on the flip side, I have witnessed great bravery among family members who upheld their loved one’s decisions, even though they did not agree.
Families at the end of life need huge support – again, we can’t let our wishes become their wishes, as hard as that is sometimes. As the nurse at the bedside, we witness horrific suffering and often are powerless to do anything about it, except follow their wishes. Again, these families still need our support, not alienation. And for those brave family members who struggle with saying good-bye, that same wise intensivist taught me these great words of support for families, “You are not speaking for them, they have already made their wishes known and you are just letting us know. This is not your decision, it is their decision. Thank you for honoring their last wishes.” No one wants to go home with the burden of “pulling the plug” when in reality, they didn’t. Help them see that.
Please talk to your family – let YOUR wishes be known – April 16 is designated as National Healthcare Decision Day. This is a day to start the conversation – decide who will speak for you when you are not able! But don’t wait until the, start the conversation now – it’s one of the most loving things you can do! You can learn more about advanced directives here.

I could go on and on about this topic – I am very passionate about it. But, I write this with a sad heart tonight as my dear friend sits by her father’s side in hospice. Thankfully, they were brave. They had those tough conversations, but it is still not easy saying goodbye. However, some of the pain is blunted knowing they honored their father’s wishes – they had the conversation.

So, don’t delay. No day is promised. However, do the loving thing and make those decisions for yourself so your family isn’t stuck wondering what you would have wanted….

Take care, be safe and wash your hands!

Until next time…

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Creating the New Normal

cradmin — Wed, 02 Mar 2022 16:00:00 +0000

What is this “New Normal” we’ve heard so much about during the pandemic? We hear it all the time, but do any of us really know what it is? It’s a term to describe that new way of life that emerges after a crisis, the new habits and routines, the new way of living.

We plan for our futures in many ways. Yet each of us inevitably faces a major shift in life that shakes us out of the familiar and makes us rethink the future we thought was certain. Whether we’ve lost our partner to death or divorce, lost a job or career, experienced a major illness, or any major change, we know that life is forever changed.

We can never be sure what life will be like when the dust begins to settle. As it does, we find ourselves getting into new routines and new habits. What used to be so normal it didn’t take any thought is being replaced. Creating this new normal is sometimes difficult and might even seem impossible. The phrase “you never get over it” is a reminder that you will never again be the “old” you – the person you were before the flood, the tornado, the death of your beloved. You’ve lost something tremendously dear to you and your suffering exists because of that love. Death wounds us, scars us, and inevitably changes us.

It is said that time heals all wounds. That might be so, each of us in our own way will fill the hole left behind. But whatever takes up that space isn’t what we’ve lost. No matter how hard we try, things will never be the same. But in time, you’ll become a new you – and you’ll find a new normal.

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Avoid Burnout with These 3 Tips

cradmin — Wed, 23 Feb 2022 15:00:00 +0000

Burnout is a real and quite damaging condition and can have a significant impact on your resilience and ability to enjoy life. Once you find yourself suffering from burnout, it can be difficult to turn your life around. This is why it is crucial to take steps to try and avoid burnout.

Set Boundaries

No matter what your profession may be, it’s important to have boundaries. You can’t be available around the clock; it’s just not possible. You’ve heard me say, “Don’t let the well run dry.” One step to take to avoid burnout is to establish clear boundaries. Let others know when you’re “off the clock.” This means that you won’t be in the office or station, and you won’t be available by phone or email during these times. If you are in a management position, it might help to post these hours somewhere or adjust your email auto-reply, so people know you will answer as soon as you are available. If being available in case of emergency is important, it can be helpful to have an assistant or other person who is very familiar with the work you do and is able to screen the truly urgent calls.

Have A Work-Life Balance

What is your favorite thing to do? Take a minute to imagine yourself doing that.

Got it? Now let me ask you, “When is the last time you did that?” Besides just setting boundaries, you need to have time to do things that aren’t work related. This means you have time for your hobbies, your family, and just doing what you love. This doesn’t have to be complicated, and it could be as simple as taking one afternoon a week to go for a walk in your favorite park. Whatever it might be, it needs to be something you want to do, and you need to put your foot down if someone or something ever tries to interfere.

Put Yourself First

Whatever could be going on at your job, if you start not to feel well or feel overwhelmed, you need to put yourself first. This means that, even if your group just started a new project, if you need a mental health day, you take one. It’s not a sign of weakness. Rather, it is a sign of strength to take care of yourself. You won’t be of any use to your team if burnout is creeping in and your physical and mental abilities begin to deteriorate.

Putting yourself first is especially important when you start to feel the symptoms of an illness. Although it may be tempting to say it’s just a cold and go to work anyway, this will only make you feel worse and bring the chances of burnout even closer. Stay home. Get the rest your body needs.

Overall, in this day and age, it may seem difficult to avoid the burnout. But you can—as long as you remember to set boundaries, have a work-life balance, and put yourself first. And if you follow these tips, not only will you avoid the damages of burnout, you’ll also go through life feeling less stressed and more happiness.

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Five Things to Know About Public Safety Chaplains

cradmin — Thu, 17 Feb 2022 15:46:09 +0000

Our front-line workers have a dangerous and stressful job! Watch any group of fire-fighters around the firehouse table, and it looks pretty good. They laugh, eat great food and even better desserts, play cards. In other words – they’re just hanging out having a good time, right?

The goal of a fire chaplain is to aid, comfort, and assist firefighters and their families.

Not so much. It may seem that way at first glance, but underneath the light-heartedness are the emotions and images of that last call. The “fun” barely begins to counter what they experience in the community. These brave men and women are often right in the middle of the worst day of someone’s life – often putting their own lives at risk.

Now, more than ever, first responders need support and assistance. They experience unique stressors beyond what most understand. The sights, sounds, and smells they experience can impact them for years, even cutting short their professional careers.

WHAT DOES A FIRST RESPONDER CHAPLAIN DO?

Just as our Fire Fighters, Police, and EMS are ready 24/7 to serve you and me, Chaplains are ready to serve them in their worst of times – whenever needed. From lending an ear for those who need to talk about something that’s bugging them to helping department members and their families in the event of an injured or killed firefighter. At times this care is extended to citizens when they become victims of a fire, medical emergency or natural disaster.

We’re not just there to be an emotional and/or spiritual support, but we’ll tend to the sick and injured as we can, we’ll comfort the grieving, we’ll hand out a water bottle, or offer an arm of comfort. Most Chaplains are also trained in Critical Incident Stress Management skills. You’ll find us having lunch at the station, standing by at major incidents, leading or learning at training sessions, offering a benediction at memorials, social events, and public functions.

FIRE CHAPLAINS AND RELIGION

Although we each have our own religious or faith tradition, the service we offer knows no theological or religious bounds. Chaplains are not likely to offer sacraments or other rites unless we are specifically asked. We’re a confidential and non-judgmental person for responders to talk to about things that are bothering them. Chaplains may offer life, marriage, and grief coaching to responders, staff and their families among other things. A department or team may ask its Chaplain to conduct funerals or memorial services, especially if the firefighter does not have a pastor.

Are First Responder Chaplains paid? Is this their job?

Most Chaplains are volunteers. The men and women we serve give so much of their time and themselves to their community. It is an honor to serve those who serve.

WHO SERVES AS A FIRST RESPONDER CHAPLAIN?

A chaplain can be appointed by his or her fire department and must be endorsed by their religious organization. A chaplain can be a local pastor who volunteers their time to help a fire department. There are also firefighters who have ministry experience who volunteer their off-duty to do chaplain work.

HOW TO BECOME A FIRE CHAPLAIN

Every department has different needs, depending on where you live. While a large department like Detroit Fire may have five fire chaplains, a volunteer department would most likely rely on area pastors for their chaplain needs. Reach out to your local department to speak to the fire chief about their chaplain needs. Basic requirements to become a chaplain include ministry experience, a clean criminal record, specific training, and ecclesiastical endorsement by a recognized religious body.

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Grief is Traumatic

cradmin — Thu, 10 Feb 2022 15:35:09 +0000

Grief is traumatic. It’s the human response to a great loss or trauma. While we typically think of grief as the response to death, which it is, you can grieve for any loss. People often go through a period of grief when diagnosed with a terminal illness, after a breakup, a relocation, an amputation, a job loss, or a closing chapter of life. There are many types of grief and the way you process grief will depend on the type and depth of loss you have experienced.

If you type grief into an internet search, you will easily find a precise definition. While there is a “Merriam Webster” version, it’s more complicated than that.

You may experience abbreviated grief where you bounce back more quickly than most; or complicated grief which comes with mental health diagnosis; or anything in between.

The key to navigating any type of grief is to face it head-on. How you do so will depend on what or who you are grieving, and will have a lot to do with who you are as a person.

While resilience plays a part, there’s more to it than that. If you want to learn more about grief and loss, then check out our new eBook The Journey of Grief and Loss: Let The Healing Process Begin.

Don’t wait! Get your copy today!

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