Grief During Holidays and Anniversaries
The Grief Journey, Volume 11
In the master plan of life, we are seldom made aware of its blueprint. We build our lives on the foundation of love, securing it with the mortar of guiding hands and hearts. With time and the many experiences that shape us, we build a home.
And home is where the heart is.
When Special Days Feel Different
Holidays and anniversaries are often filled with picture-perfect scenes and expectations. They can mask the real feelings that surface as you face these days without your loved one.
Traditions may no longer feel the same, especially those you created together. Too often, we cover our true emotions “for the sake of others,” even when our hearts are heavy. Every room in our mind holds rich memories — both joyful and painful — waiting for the heart to unlock the door.
A Natural Response to Loss
It is a perfectly natural response to feel depressed, withdrawn, or emotionally tender before and during holidays or anniversaries. What were once moments of shared joy can now become times of loneliness and sorrow.
You may find yourself feeling alone, even when surrounded by people.
When Others Feel Uncomfortable
Often, those around you are unsure how to respond. Some may worry they will say the wrong thing and unintentionally cause pain, so they keep their distance. Others may attempt to minimize your loss with phrases like, “Life goes on,” or, “It’s time to move forward.”
Some people may still be wrestling with their own unresolved grief and simply are not able to talk about it openly.
Unlocking the Heart Through Sharing
The key to unlocking the heart’s door is sharing — sharing with someone who genuinely wants to listen.
A gathering is meant to be a time to celebrate, to care, and to connect. It is also a time to reflect and to invite others into your memories. Both the joyful and the painful memories deserve space. Sharing them is part of the healing process.
Reminiscing can be emotionally draining. Tears may come easily, and emotions may rise unexpectedly. Yet this is part of catharsis — a cleansing of the soul. By remembering and sharing, we begin to ease the weight of grief.
Living With Grief, Not Over It
Unlocking the door of the heart does not mean memories will fade. What it does mean is that the journey of life may become easier to travel.
We do not “get over” grief. Instead, we work toward reconciling ourselves to living with it.
Holidays and anniversaries naturally bring a resurgence of loss and sadness. Acknowledging these feelings and gently moving toward them is healthier than attempting to repress or deny them.
Wishing you peace, especially during those difficult days,
Lee
