How do we navigate these white waters of grief?
How do we begin to think about our “new normal” — what life will be like now that our loved one has died?
Sometimes the journey is like stepping from one safe place to the next with intention.
Much like stepping stones across a river, we have to look around us to see beyond the deep water. We look for what we need in order to make it to the next place of safety.
From a deeper perspective, grief isn’t only about losing the person who died — it is also about losing a part of yourself.
You will never be the same person you were before your loved one died. Your life will change. And that lost part of you will be transformed.
When you are in the midst of the harder times of grieving, it can be difficult to imagine that anything good could come from it. But when you are able to still your mind, you may begin to sense that something is happening below the surface.
A deeper transformation is at work — a natural result of loss.
You begin to understand yourself, your life, and your purpose in a whole new way.
🌊 One Step at a Time
Grief is a process — a journey that is not over and done with all at once.
Continue to put one step in front of the other, navigating the twists and turns, the changes, one step at a time. Grief cannot be rushed. It is a longer process than any of us would like to admit.
Here are a few gentle suggestions that may help you move toward the next stepping stone.
🌱 Gentle Suggestions for the Journey
Think about what you have gained.
When someone we love deeply dies, there are often hundreds of little losses that follow. Acknowledging those losses is important. And, over time, gently shifting your attention to what you may have gained can help you move forward.
Take a moment to jot down two or three things. Add to your list whenever you can.
Allow yourself to feel.
Grief brings waves of emotion in varying intensities — anger, sadness, fear, anxiety, guilt, isolation. These feelings are not wrong. Our instinct may be to resist them, but often the more we allow ourselves to feel, the easier those emotions become to carry.
Continue to step ahead.
There may be times when it feels like your grief will never end — like the white waters will never calm. It is okay to feel this way. Most people find that these moments do not last forever.
During those times, it is important not to give up. Time alone does not heal grief. Grief can linger long enough that it almost becomes familiar — even oddly comforting. Healing requires intention. You must keep walking and gently working your way through it.
🤍 You Are Not Alone
The most important thing you can do is to be honest with yourself about what you are feeling and experiencing. Allow yourself to express your grief. Allow yourself to cry.
Stay connected with others. We need people who will listen, validate us, and encourage us along the way. Find a supportive friend or family member — and remember that you are always invited to our free Grief Support Groups.
Let me encourage you today and remind you that there is hope.
So keep on walking…
one step, one stone, one breath at a time.
Thinking of you,
Lee
