…never go away. It has been observed that grief “may be more like learning to manage a permanent loss of a limb than allowing a wound to heal” (C. A. Corr.)
Misconception #2: Everyone Grieves The Same Way
This myth says that we will all go through the same stages of grief in the same orderly progression. But nothing could not be further from the truth. Grief is messier and more complicated than that. In fact, many grief coaches say that grief is as unique as a fingerprint.
Although you may still feel those stages of anger, denial, depression, bargaining ,and acceptance, you will likely experience one longer than another and in any order, or even back and forth between the stages. Don’t let anyone to tell you that you’re “grieving wrong,” just because it is different than theirs.
Misconception #3: Tears Are A Sign of Weakness
Tears are not a sign of weakness; they are a sign of having loved an individual who has died. While your tears may result in a feeling of helplessness for your friends, family, and caregivers, you shouldn’t let others stifle your need to cry. Science shows that crying actually makes a person feel better emotionally and physically. They certainly are an indication of your willingness to do the work of mourning.
Misconception #4: Don’t Talk About the Person Who Died
People often shy away from talking about the deceased because they don’t want to make you, the griever more sad or upset. My friend Vickie whose 16 year old daughter died, best dispelled this myth when she said, “Stop pretending she didn’t exist!!! Laugh with me! Cry with me! Say her name out loud like she meant something! Please…” Share your memories, tell those beloved stories, talk what you think the deceased would be saying or doing in this moment. This lets everyone know the person is remembered and still loved.
Misconception #5: Those Grieving Are Best Left Alone
Grievers need opportunities to share their memories and grief, and to receive support. Sharing your pain with others won’t make it disappear, but it will, over time, make it more bearable. Reaching out for help also connects you to other people and strengthens the bonds of love that makes life seem worth living again.
Wishing you peace,
