“Only people who are capable of loving strongly can also suffer great sorrow, but this same necessity of loving serves to counteract their grief and heals them.” — Leo Tolstoy

Navigating grief is one of life’s greatest challenges. Whether a loved one or special pet has died, you’ve lost your job, moved away from family, become an empty-nester, or experienced another significant loss, you are likely feeling the emotional and physical pain of grief. You may experience unexpected emotions or a disruption in your physical health. These are normal reactions to grief. 

Although there is no “right” way to grieve, and there is no handbook to help you know what to expect, there are many things you can do to help ease the journey.

• Don’t let others tell you how you should feel. Your grief is just that – yours. No one else knows the depth of your sadness – not even someone else who has experienced the same loss you have. No one can tell you when it’s time to move on or to get over it. Go ahead and feel whatever you feel without judgement or embarrassment. It’s ok to laugh, to cry, to scream, and to be angry.  

• Constantly remember your purpose. Why are you striving toward that goal or dream in the first place? What is the big, audacious purpose that motivated you to embark on the journey? More time with your family? More money? Getting the dream job? To keep your motivation high, you must constantly keep your purpose in front of you. 

• Celebrate the small wins. It’s important to keep the big picture in front of you, but it’s also crucial to celebrate the small wins. Remember, you climb a ladder one rung at a time. You’re reaching your goal one step at a time. Celebrating the small wins will allow you to see the progress you’re making and increase your motivation levels.

• Act first, feel later. One of the best ways to get your motivational juices flowing is to simply take action. If your goal is to read fifty books in one year, sit down and read a book for five minutes. If your goal is to lose 50 pounds, go for a 10-minute walk. Once you take the first step, you’ll feel motivated to keep going. 

• Do visualization exercises. By visualizing your goal, you bring the future into the present. As you visualize your dream job and all the benefits it will bring, you’ll feel your present motivation skyrocketing. As you think about what it will be like to double your income, the obstacles you’re facing will melt into the background. 

• Break your big goal into small goals. Depending on your ability to focus, it might be helpful to break your big goal into segments that last anywhere from one to 12 weeks. This way your brain can experience success and logically see a positive long-term outcome. You’ll procrastinate if the path looks too challenging.

• Repeat affirmations daily. Affirmations help you believe that you’re going to achieve your goal. When you’re feeling overwhelmed, burned out, or low on motivation, saying things like, “I AM on my way to a healthy body,” can help you keep going. 

• Surround yourself with people who motivate you. One of the most effective ways to boost your motivation is to surround yourself with other people who are motivated. If you’re building a business, spend time with other passionate entrepreneurs. If you’re working toward a goal weight, have a workout accountability partner. You need encouragement and support as you pursue your goals. 

These ideas may be simple, but they are profound. Put these to work in your own life and watch the success appear before you. 

Wishing you all the best my friends!

PS: Want to become more Resilient? Click here for more tools and resources.

All the best!!

Lee n’ Shadow

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You have to look after yourself when coping with grief – that means eating, bathing, and doing things that you enjoy. You might feel guilty about laughing at your favorite show, but you shouldn’t. You might feel bad for meeting a friend for coffee, but you shouldn’t. As difficult as it is to accept that life goes on, it does.

Do not allow others to put a timeline on your grief. Your process is your own and it isn’t up to anyone to rush you through processing your emotions. 

What you should do, however, is increase your awareness of what is “normal” of grief and when you need to reach out for professional advice. If you want to learn more about grief and loss, then check out our new eBook The Journey of Grief and Loss: Let The Healing Process Begin.

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Founder of CoachRev @the CrossRoads, Lee Atherton encourages her clients to “Live Your Dying.” Many people, after hearing “there’s nothing more we can do,” feel as though the end has come – the end of hope, enjoyment in life, accomplishments, and much more. Yet there are many ways that this final chapter of life can be the most profound and fulfilling. 

In a safe, judgment-free way, a coach will journey with you, encouraging and guide you to 

• Consider death in a sacred place in the beauty, mystery, and celebration of life 
• Understand what to expect as death draws near
• Have conversations to mend broken relationships so that you both might heal emotionally and spiritually
• Help you plan a meaningful end-of-life ritual for you and your loved ones
• Bring peace and gratitude to the atmosphere of grief
• Be present with you and your loved ones in the final moments. 
• make sense of their experience

End-of-Life coaching focuses on the preferences and opinions of the client.

• What/Who are you grateful for?
• What do you need most from me today?
• Is there anything you are uncomfortable talking about?
• What do you plan to do after this session?
• What’s been on your mind since the last time we spoke?

Would you like to learn more? Contact CoachLee at Lee@CoachRev.com

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It is Monday as I write this – 5 days before Christmas, 2021. And I’m feeling heavy and worn down. My mom died almost 30 years ago. She was the dynamism behind what, for me, were the best Christmases of my life! Mum did her shopping and wrapping so early that she was as excited as we were to see what presents were under the tree. She put so much care and thought into every gift she purchased and couldn’t wait to see our reactions as we unwrapped treasures we didn’t even know we wanted! 

I miss her terribly when I remember the good times, the laughter, the moments I saw her joy and love. I wish I could hear her laugh again. I wish I could have just one more stocking hung by the fire that she would pack full of goodies.   

As I often say when I officiate a funeral service, we humans have an amazing gift – the gift of memories. I treasure these memories of my mom.

My wish for you is that in the midst of the sadness you feel this season, you also find moments of peace, times when you can smile as you remember your favorite memories. Remember, It’s all right to cry.

You can listen to this song here:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8bdTXt2mW4

If you would like to read more about grief and the holidays, click here for “Seasons of Grieving: A Guide to Grief at the Holidays”

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“Baby boomers have changed the face of the U.S. population for more than 70 years and continue to do so as more enter their senior years, a demographic shift often referred to as a “gray tsunami.” (census.gov)

Data and research point to a “tsunami of humans nearing end of life” within the next two decades. In a world where our health care workers are increasingly burned out and leaving their jobs, the strain that this tsunami will put on health care resources is tremendous. Retirement communities and long-term care facilities already have waiting lists. The rising costs of healthcare are stripping what many retirees have tucked away for their “golden years.” As numbers of the “gray tsunami” rise, the quality of life as they near death decreases and gets more and more expensive.  

Seventy-five percent of all money spent on health care occurs in the last three months of life while the quality of life is the worst we ever seen. Ninety-five percent of people say they prefer to die at home while 75% of people end up dying in hospitals or nursing homes.

When people talk about what is happening in our end-of-life culture today, we hear things like, “I don’t want to die that way. I want control of how I die. I want a loving and natural death. I’ll choose my own way out before I die like that.”

It is more important than ever to plan for life’s final chapter. Waiting too long means that we’ll be making critical decisions and choices when we’re more stressed, under pressure to decide in a moment of crisis. Or our ability to weigh the pros and cons and consider how our life-long values inform our choices has declined as we’ve aged. 

Too often we leave our loved ones scrambling to make life and death decisions on our behalf. Siblings who once got along and enjoyed each other’s company find themselves not only at odds with each other, but often finding themselves in unreconcilable disagreements and broken relationships. 

It is never too early to think about what we want our final months and days to be. 

What are your spiritual wishes? What do you want your children to know? Do you want to be kept alive by all means possible? Or do you want to die in the comfort of your own home surrounded by the people and things most important to you? What do you imagine your funeral or life celebration to be like? Do you have a favorite song, or poem, or story you want shared? 

Reach out to CoachRev Lee for guidance as you begin thinking about your Five Wishes, and having a conversation with your family about what you want as your life draws to a close. 

• Wish 1: The Person I Want to Make Care Decisions for Me When I Can’t. …
• Wish 2: The Kind of Medical Treatment I Want or Don’t Want. …
• Wish 3: How Comfortable I Want to Be. …
• Wish 4: How I Want People to Treat Me. …
• Wish 5: What I Want My Loved Ones to Know.

Email Lee @ Lee@CoachRev.com to find out when the next free workshop is scheduled.

And in the meantime – Live Today Like It Matters!!

The post Living Your Dying appeared first on CoachRev.

Here is why you should choose an end-of-life coach. The key difference between the two is this. End of life coaching is the process of being with people who are dying or people who are mourning the loss of a loved one. The end-of-life coach affirms that what you are going through, that what you are experiencing on your unique journey is normal. You are assured that death and grief are an age-old normal and natural part of life.

On the other hand, a psychologist focuses on psychotherapy to treat diagnosed emotional and mental suffering in clients. This can and does include suffering from a terminal illness, coping with a loved one suffering from a terminal illness, or the death of a loved one. But a psychologist also deals with other life and mental health issues. They don’t get personal. They don’t see the raw picture. They have to be professionally objective to succeed. Your end-of-life coach will walk alongside you giving voice to your feelings, emotions, and experience.

Your coach will bear witness to a unique time of life that almost no one else does. In a safe, accepting, judgment free space you will be able to talk about whatever is on your mind, knowing that everything you share is completely confidential. There is no clinical diagnosis reported to your insurance company that far too often becomes a burden of negativity.

A psychologist comes from the perspective that you are broken and need fixing.

An end-of-life coach sees you as well and whole. You are simply a person who could be supported and guided by a partner to walk the journey with you.
Some of the topics you might explore with your coach include:

Have I lived my life well?
What do I still want to accomplish in the time that is left?
How do I want people to remember me?
What relationships do I want to mend before I die?
Who do I want to see one last time?
What do I want my loved ones to know?
Could I choose what I want in my funeral? And how do I let people know?
What have I left unsaid – and is that ok, or do I want to say it now?

You can learn more about CoachRev Lee and her approach by going to her website: www.coachrev.com

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