Grief is one of the most universal human experiences, yet it remains one of the most misunderstood. At some point in life, every one of us will face it—whether it’s the death of someone we love, the end of a relationship, the loss of health, or even the shattering of a long-held dream. But when it hits, one of the questions many people ask themselves is: How long will this last?

The short, and perhaps frustrating, answer is: there is no timeline for grief. The journey is deeply personal, and in fact, grief doesn’t end. It will soften over time, but you will always have moments when you think about and mourn your loss.

The Five Stages of Grief – A Helpful Map, But Not the Whole Story

When people think about grief, they often refer to the five stages of grief, first introduced by psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in 1969. These stages are:

1. Denial– “This can’t be happening.”
2. Anger– “Why is this happening? Who’s to blame?”
3. Bargaining– “If only I had done this differently…”
4. Depression– “This hurts so much. I don’t know how to go on.”
5. Acceptance– “This is my reality now. I’m learning to live with it.”

These stages aren’t meant to be a checklist to move through and be done with once and for all. And they aren’t meant to be experienced in any exact order. Instead, think of them as signposts on an unpredictable journey. You might find yourself lingering in one stage for weeks or months. You might skip one entirely and circle back to it later.

For example, some people stay in denial for a long time because the reality of the loss feels too overwhelming to face. Others may move quickly through denial but get “stuck” in anger or depression. There’s no “right” way to grieve.

Why Putting a Timeline on Grief Doesn’t Work

We live in a culture that often expects us to “bounce back” quickly. Employers may offer just a few days of bereavement leave. Friends may stop checking in after the funeral. Even we, ourselves, may think we should be over it by a certain point.

But grief doesn’t work like that.

The length and intensity of grief depend on many factors:

• The nature of your loss– Losing a spouse of 40 years is different from losing a distant acquaintance.
• The circumstances of the loss– Was it sudden or expected? Peaceful or traumatic?
• Your relationship with the person (or thing) lost– Were there unresolved conflicts? Was the person (or thing) a source of daily joy?
• Your personality and coping style– Some people process emotions internally, others outwardly.
• Your support system– Having people to talk to and lean on can make a huge difference.

It’s also important to remember that grief doesn’t end—it changes. Over time, it usually becomes less all-consuming, but certain triggers—a song, an anniversary, a smell—can bring it roaring back, even years later.

Taking Active Steps to Process Grief

While you can’t rush grief, you can take steps to help yourself move through it. Avoiding your emotions or “pushing them down” may delay healing and cause them to resurface in unexpected ways. Here are some ways to actively work through grief:

1.      Allow Yourself to Feel

Give yourself permission to experience your emotions without judgment. If you’re angry, be angry. If you’re sad, cry. If you need to laugh at a memory, do it. Laughing doesn’t dishonor your loved one.  Suppressing feelings often makes them stronger.

2. Lean on Your Support Network

Grief can be isolating, but it’s important not to close yourself off. Reach out to friends, family, or a support group. Even if you don’t feel like talking, having someone simply sit with you can be powerful.

3. Create Rituals of Remembrance

Lighting a candle, creating a photo album, planting a tree—these small acts can help you honor the person or thing you’ve lost and give your grief a tangible outlet.

4. Seek Professional Help if Needed

A therapist, counselor, or grief coach can offer tools to help you cope, especially if you feel stuck in one stage or your grief is interfering with daily life.

5. Take Care of Your Body

Grief is exhausting—physically, mentally, and emotionally. Eat nourishing foods, move your body in gentle ways, and try to get enough rest. Your body is carrying a heavy load; treat it kindly.

The Unexpected Waves of Grief

Grief often doesn’t move in a straight line—it comes in waves. You might feel like you’re making progress, only to be knocked down by a holiday, a song, or even a random smell that reminds you of what you lost.

These waves aren’t setbacks—they’re a natural part of the process. Over time, the waves may become smaller and less frequent, but they may always be part of you. And that’s okay.

One way to think about grief is this: rather than “getting over” grief, we learn to live alongside it. The pain may soften, but the love remains.

The Role of Community in Healing

While grief is deeply personal, it’s not something we’re meant to carry alone. In many cultures, mourning is communal—friends and neighbors bring food, gather for rituals, and sit with the grieving person for days or even weeks.

In our fast-paced, individualistic society, we often lack those built-in support systems. That’s why intentionally creating or seeking out community is so important.

• Join a grief support group (in person or online)
• Attend memorial events or remembrance walks
• Share your story with others who “get it”
• Volunteer to help others who are grieving

Community reminds us that we’re not alone, even when our loss feels isolating.

Grief as a Lifelong Companion

You may have heard the phrase, “You don’t get over grief; you grow around it.” As time passes, the grief may take up less of your daily life, but it often remains a quiet part of who you are.

And that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Grief is a reflection of love. The depth of your grief often mirrors the depth of your connection. In that sense, grief is a reminder that you had someone worth loving so deeply.

When to Seek Extra Support

While grief is natural, sometimes it becomes what professionals call “complicated grief” or “prolonged grief disorder.” This is when the symptoms remain intense and debilitating for a long period—often more than a year—and interfere with your ability to function.

Signs you might need extra support include:

• Persistent feelings of hopelessness
• Avoiding reminders of your loss to an extreme degree
• Feeling life is not worth living
• Inability to perform daily tasks
• Intense longing that doesn’t lessen with time

If this sounds like you—or someone you know—it’s important to reach out for professional help.

Final Thoughts: Grief on Your Own Timeline

So, how long does grief last? As long as it needs to.

It’s not a race. It’s not a linear path. It’s a winding, unpredictable journey that looks different for everyone. You may revisit stages, feel conflicting emotions at once, or be surprised by moments of joy in the midst of pain.

What matters most is that you give yourself permission to heal in your own time and in your own way—and that you remember you don’t have to do it alone.

If you’re walking through grief right now, know that it’s okay to take the time you need. And if you’re supporting someone who’s grieving, remember that your presence is more important than your words.

Want to go deeper?
If you are dealing with grief or know someone who is, you know how intense the emotions can be—and how important it is to have tools to process them. That’s why we created our new eBook: The Journey of Grief and Loss: Let the Healing Process Begin. Inside, you’ll find practical steps, comforting insights, and hope for the road ahead.

[Click here to learn more and get your copy.]

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“Only people who are capable of loving strongly can also suffer great sorrow, but this same necessity of loving serves to counteract their grief and heals them.” — Leo Tolstoy

Navigating grief is one of life’s greatest challenges. Whether a loved one or special pet has died, you’ve lost your job, moved away from family, become an empty-nester, or experienced another significant loss, you are likely feeling the emotional and physical pain of grief. You may experience unexpected emotions or a disruption in your physical health. These are normal reactions to grief. 

Although there is no “right” way to grieve, and there is no handbook to help you know what to expect, there are many things you can do to help ease the journey.

• Don’t let others tell you how you should feel. Your grief is just that – yours. No one else knows the depth of your sadness – not even someone else who has experienced the same loss you have. No one can tell you when it’s time to move on or to get over it. Go ahead and feel whatever you feel without judgement or embarrassment. It’s ok to laugh, to cry, to scream, and to be angry.  

• Constantly remember your purpose. Why are you striving toward that goal or dream in the first place? What is the big, audacious purpose that motivated you to embark on the journey? More time with your family? More money? Getting the dream job? To keep your motivation high, you must constantly keep your purpose in front of you. 

• Celebrate the small wins. It’s important to keep the big picture in front of you, but it’s also crucial to celebrate the small wins. Remember, you climb a ladder one rung at a time. You’re reaching your goal one step at a time. Celebrating the small wins will allow you to see the progress you’re making and increase your motivation levels.

• Act first, feel later. One of the best ways to get your motivational juices flowing is to simply take action. If your goal is to read fifty books in one year, sit down and read a book for five minutes. If your goal is to lose 50 pounds, go for a 10-minute walk. Once you take the first step, you’ll feel motivated to keep going. 

• Do visualization exercises. By visualizing your goal, you bring the future into the present. As you visualize your dream job and all the benefits it will bring, you’ll feel your present motivation skyrocketing. As you think about what it will be like to double your income, the obstacles you’re facing will melt into the background. 

• Break your big goal into small goals. Depending on your ability to focus, it might be helpful to break your big goal into segments that last anywhere from one to 12 weeks. This way your brain can experience success and logically see a positive long-term outcome. You’ll procrastinate if the path looks too challenging.

• Repeat affirmations daily. Affirmations help you believe that you’re going to achieve your goal. When you’re feeling overwhelmed, burned out, or low on motivation, saying things like, “I AM on my way to a healthy body,” can help you keep going. 

• Surround yourself with people who motivate you. One of the most effective ways to boost your motivation is to surround yourself with other people who are motivated. If you’re building a business, spend time with other passionate entrepreneurs. If you’re working toward a goal weight, have a workout accountability partner. You need encouragement and support as you pursue your goals. 

These ideas may be simple, but they are profound. Put these to work in your own life and watch the success appear before you. 

Wishing you all the best my friends!

PS: Want to become more Resilient? Click here for more tools and resources.

All the best!!

Lee n’ Shadow

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If you try to avoid your grief, you may experience isolation, depression, and substance abuse. You may deal with suicidal thoughts, experience mental and emotional fatigue, and ultimately, you will be stuck in one place even though you’re trying to move on. 

You can’t truly move on from your loss until you deal with that loss properly. You don’t have to pretend to be strong, you don’t have to hold it all together for other people. Your grief is real, and your feelings are valid. 

It’s difficult to imagine getting through grief – you simply cannot imagine a time where it won’t hurt as intensely as it does, but you will. If you want to learn more about grief and loss, then check out our new The Journey of Grief and Loss: Let The Healing Process Begin. 

Don’t wait! Get your copy today!

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You have to look after yourself when coping with grief – that means eating, bathing, and doing things that you enjoy. You might feel guilty about laughing at your favorite show, but you shouldn’t. You might feel bad for meeting a friend for coffee, but you shouldn’t. As difficult as it is to accept that life goes on, it does.

Do not allow others to put a timeline on your grief. Your process is your own and it isn’t up to anyone to rush you through processing your emotions. 

What you should do, however, is increase your awareness of what is “normal” of grief and when you need to reach out for professional advice. If you want to learn more about grief and loss, then check out our new eBook The Journey of Grief and Loss: Let The Healing Process Begin.

The post Finding Comfort In Grief appeared first on CoachRev.

Founder of CoachRev @the CrossRoads, Lee Atherton encourages her clients to “Live Your Dying.” Many people, after hearing “there’s nothing more we can do,” feel as though the end has come – the end of hope, enjoyment in life, accomplishments, and much more. Yet there are many ways that this final chapter of life can be the most profound and fulfilling. 

In a safe, judgment-free way, a coach will journey with you, encouraging and guide you to 

• Consider death in a sacred place in the beauty, mystery, and celebration of life 
• Understand what to expect as death draws near
• Have conversations to mend broken relationships so that you both might heal emotionally and spiritually
• Help you plan a meaningful end-of-life ritual for you and your loved ones
• Bring peace and gratitude to the atmosphere of grief
• Be present with you and your loved ones in the final moments. 
• make sense of their experience

End-of-Life coaching focuses on the preferences and opinions of the client.

• What/Who are you grateful for?
• What do you need most from me today?
• Is there anything you are uncomfortable talking about?
• What do you plan to do after this session?
• What’s been on your mind since the last time we spoke?

Would you like to learn more? Contact CoachLee at Lee@CoachRev.com

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It is Monday as I write this – 5 days before Christmas, 2021. And I’m feeling heavy and worn down. My mom died almost 30 years ago. She was the dynamism behind what, for me, were the best Christmases of my life! Mum did her shopping and wrapping so early that she was as excited as we were to see what presents were under the tree. She put so much care and thought into every gift she purchased and couldn’t wait to see our reactions as we unwrapped treasures we didn’t even know we wanted! 

I miss her terribly when I remember the good times, the laughter, the moments I saw her joy and love. I wish I could hear her laugh again. I wish I could have just one more stocking hung by the fire that she would pack full of goodies.   

As I often say when I officiate a funeral service, we humans have an amazing gift – the gift of memories. I treasure these memories of my mom.

My wish for you is that in the midst of the sadness you feel this season, you also find moments of peace, times when you can smile as you remember your favorite memories. Remember, It’s all right to cry.

You can listen to this song here:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8bdTXt2mW4

If you would like to read more about grief and the holidays, click here for “Seasons of Grieving: A Guide to Grief at the Holidays”

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