“Only people who are capable of loving strongly can also suffer great sorrow, but this same necessity of loving serves to counteract their grief and heals them.” — Leo Tolstoy

Navigating grief is one of life’s greatest challenges. Whether a loved one or special pet has died, you’ve lost your job, moved away from family, become an empty-nester, or experienced another significant loss, you are likely feeling the emotional and physical pain of grief. You may experience unexpected emotions or a disruption in your physical health. These are normal reactions to grief. 

Although there is no “right” way to grieve, and there is no handbook to help you know what to expect, there are many things you can do to help ease the journey.

• Don’t let others tell you how you should feel. Your grief is just that – yours. No one else knows the depth of your sadness – not even someone else who has experienced the same loss you have. No one can tell you when it’s time to move on or to get over it. Go ahead and feel whatever you feel without judgement or embarrassment. It’s ok to laugh, to cry, to scream, and to be angry.  

• Constantly remember your purpose. Why are you striving toward that goal or dream in the first place? What is the big, audacious purpose that motivated you to embark on the journey? More time with your family? More money? Getting the dream job? To keep your motivation high, you must constantly keep your purpose in front of you. 

• Celebrate the small wins. It’s important to keep the big picture in front of you, but it’s also crucial to celebrate the small wins. Remember, you climb a ladder one rung at a time. You’re reaching your goal one step at a time. Celebrating the small wins will allow you to see the progress you’re making and increase your motivation levels.

• Act first, feel later. One of the best ways to get your motivational juices flowing is to simply take action. If your goal is to read fifty books in one year, sit down and read a book for five minutes. If your goal is to lose 50 pounds, go for a 10-minute walk. Once you take the first step, you’ll feel motivated to keep going. 

• Do visualization exercises. By visualizing your goal, you bring the future into the present. As you visualize your dream job and all the benefits it will bring, you’ll feel your present motivation skyrocketing. As you think about what it will be like to double your income, the obstacles you’re facing will melt into the background. 

• Break your big goal into small goals. Depending on your ability to focus, it might be helpful to break your big goal into segments that last anywhere from one to 12 weeks. This way your brain can experience success and logically see a positive long-term outcome. You’ll procrastinate if the path looks too challenging.

• Repeat affirmations daily. Affirmations help you believe that you’re going to achieve your goal. When you’re feeling overwhelmed, burned out, or low on motivation, saying things like, “I AM on my way to a healthy body,” can help you keep going. 

• Surround yourself with people who motivate you. One of the most effective ways to boost your motivation is to surround yourself with other people who are motivated. If you’re building a business, spend time with other passionate entrepreneurs. If you’re working toward a goal weight, have a workout accountability partner. You need encouragement and support as you pursue your goals. 

These ideas may be simple, but they are profound. Put these to work in your own life and watch the success appear before you. 

Wishing you all the best my friends!

PS: Want to become more Resilient? Click here for more tools and resources.

All the best!!

Lee n’ Shadow

The post Navigating the WhiteWaters of Grief appeared first on CoachRev.

The best times for personal growth are when our world has turned upside down and we’re being stretched far beyond our comfort one. Amid chaos, our minds become busy, and we start thinking more. It’s a great time to take advantage of a mind made flexible by circumstances and learn something new.

Furthermore, the act of bettering yourself gives you a focus, something you can control right now, at this moment, helping you cope with the upheaval. It’s all about attitude and the idea that you can keep growing, even now. 

How do you do that?

You Learn to Embrace Adversity

There’s no doubt chaos can make a mess of your life. But as you dig in and start looking for solutions, you’re going to discover something about yourself. Adversity brings out your best, forcing you out from complacency to find new solutions. With an open-minded attitude, you can even come to embrace adversity.

You Become More Adept at Challenges

A crisis demands creative solutions. After all, if the status quo had been working, you wouldn’t be where you are now. In the long run, what this means is you’re going to get better at brainstorming and seeing solutions where you hadn’t seen them before.

You Become Better at Seeing Opportunity

Once you look past the disaster itself, you’ll start seeing chances to shine. There’s a great deal of opportunity in upheaval if you can maintain an openness to trying new things, and adaptability when it comes to rolling with the punches. Developing this skill now means you won’t miss the next opportunity.

You Cultivate Positivity

How can you possibly make it through a crisis if all you’re doing is focusing on the negative? If you can strengthen your ability to find the positive and to keep an upbeat attitude even when things are going wrong, you’ll be able to stay positive no matter what life throws at you.

You Develop More Empathy

You can’t go through these kinds of tough times without learning something about how hard life can be. By leveraging this into empathy, you’ll gain more compassion for those around you. 

Wow, this is a lot! Imagine the newer, stronger version of YOU developing even now. How exciting to think you’ll be coming out of this crisis more robust and better than ever before!

The post 5 Ways to Experience Growth Even in Chaos appeared first on CoachRev.

It is Monday as I write this – 5 days before Christmas, 2021. And I’m feeling heavy and worn down. My mom died almost 30 years ago. She was the dynamism behind what, for me, were the best Christmases of my life! Mum did her shopping and wrapping so early that she was as excited as we were to see what presents were under the tree. She put so much care and thought into every gift she purchased and couldn’t wait to see our reactions as we unwrapped treasures we didn’t even know we wanted! 

I miss her terribly when I remember the good times, the laughter, the moments I saw her joy and love. I wish I could hear her laugh again. I wish I could have just one more stocking hung by the fire that she would pack full of goodies.   

As I often say when I officiate a funeral service, we humans have an amazing gift – the gift of memories. I treasure these memories of my mom.

My wish for you is that in the midst of the sadness you feel this season, you also find moments of peace, times when you can smile as you remember your favorite memories. Remember, It’s all right to cry.

You can listen to this song here:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8bdTXt2mW4

If you would like to read more about grief and the holidays, click here for “Seasons of Grieving: A Guide to Grief at the Holidays”

The post It’s All Right to Cry… appeared first on CoachRev.

“Baby boomers have changed the face of the U.S. population for more than 70 years and continue to do so as more enter their senior years, a demographic shift often referred to as a “gray tsunami.” (census.gov)

Data and research point to a “tsunami of humans nearing end of life” within the next two decades. In a world where our health care workers are increasingly burned out and leaving their jobs, the strain that this tsunami will put on health care resources is tremendous. Retirement communities and long-term care facilities already have waiting lists. The rising costs of healthcare are stripping what many retirees have tucked away for their “golden years.” As numbers of the “gray tsunami” rise, the quality of life as they near death decreases and gets more and more expensive.  

Seventy-five percent of all money spent on health care occurs in the last three months of life while the quality of life is the worst we ever seen. Ninety-five percent of people say they prefer to die at home while 75% of people end up dying in hospitals or nursing homes.

When people talk about what is happening in our end-of-life culture today, we hear things like, “I don’t want to die that way. I want control of how I die. I want a loving and natural death. I’ll choose my own way out before I die like that.”

It is more important than ever to plan for life’s final chapter. Waiting too long means that we’ll be making critical decisions and choices when we’re more stressed, under pressure to decide in a moment of crisis. Or our ability to weigh the pros and cons and consider how our life-long values inform our choices has declined as we’ve aged. 

Too often we leave our loved ones scrambling to make life and death decisions on our behalf. Siblings who once got along and enjoyed each other’s company find themselves not only at odds with each other, but often finding themselves in unreconcilable disagreements and broken relationships. 

It is never too early to think about what we want our final months and days to be. 

What are your spiritual wishes? What do you want your children to know? Do you want to be kept alive by all means possible? Or do you want to die in the comfort of your own home surrounded by the people and things most important to you? What do you imagine your funeral or life celebration to be like? Do you have a favorite song, or poem, or story you want shared? 

Reach out to CoachRev Lee for guidance as you begin thinking about your Five Wishes, and having a conversation with your family about what you want as your life draws to a close. 

• Wish 1: The Person I Want to Make Care Decisions for Me When I Can’t. …
• Wish 2: The Kind of Medical Treatment I Want or Don’t Want. …
• Wish 3: How Comfortable I Want to Be. …
• Wish 4: How I Want People to Treat Me. …
• Wish 5: What I Want My Loved Ones to Know.

Email Lee @ Lee@CoachRev.com to find out when the next free workshop is scheduled.

And in the meantime – Live Today Like It Matters!!

The post Living Your Dying appeared first on CoachRev.

For those of you wondering if bringing another family member into the house is really a good idea, here are 5 really good reasons! Pets can…

Reduce Stress – for you and your children

Especially in this post-pandemic world, stress is through the roof! According to the World Health Organization, over 80% of adults surveyed are feeling significant stress after the 2-year pandemic anniversary. The statistics for children and teens are even more alarming. Your pet has an innate ability to reduce stress. Adding a pet to your family can decrease the tension, arguments, anger, frustration, and more that come with increased stress. Studies also show that pets can lower our blood pressure and heart rate, and ease depression and loneliness.

Keep You Active

Not only are pets good at helping us manage our stress levels, but they also encourage us to be active and playful, and even improve our cardiovascular health.  Some pets, like exuberant energy-filled puppies, force us to get up and be active. We can’t be a couch potato if Fido’s wagging tail is telling us to get up and get that leash! They give you a reason to get outside, and get some fresh air which is proven to improve your mood, your sleep, and your mental health.

Keep You Young

Pets can be especially helpful for older folks. Studies have shown that people who have pets tend to live longer than those who don’t. In a healthy aging survey, adults over fifty reported several benefits including these top three benefits:

• They felt a deeper sense of purpose
• They felt calmer and more peaceful
• They experienced more social connection

Give Unconditional Love (and who doesn’t need that in this crazy world of 2022?!)

The emotional bond that we form with our pets is second-to-none. Some people form stronger bonds with their pets than they do with other humans. Dogs and humans who interact with each other get a jolt of oxytocin – the Love Hormone. Think about how your “best friend” reacts when you come home from work, even after a hard day that has left you grumpy. They are always happy to see us! Everyone needs that emotional connection.  Pets love us unconditionally, and they never judge us. Pets also get the benefit of living in a loving environment for which, they return that love in abundance.

Make You Laugh!

I’ve heard it said that laughter is the best medicine. Did you know that smiling can boost your mood and happiness level? It sure does – even if it’s forced! Those crazy cat antics that abound on YouTube don’t let us down! A kitten’s and puppy’s playfulness are usually good for a laugh or two as well.  I have a pet I call “Digger Dude.” He might be a shrimp; I’m not sure. But he is SO much fun to watch! This creature is always recreating the landscape of my aquarium and to watch it scurry back and forth moving mounds of pebbles and even pushing snails out of the way brings a smile to my face and makes me chuckle.

The post 5 Reasons to Adopt A Pet appeared first on CoachRev.

My immediate thought was that one of the kids got hurt – badly.

When my mom died, we planted a special bush to plant in our front yard in her memory. [you can read about how we chose that special bush here.] In the fall, my children and I added a little bird feeder that stood about four feet high. It was a deep red color that stood out vibrantly on this snowy day. There were no more leaves on the bush. Just a few leftover red berries could be seen.

I ran to James where he was standing on a chair excitedly pointing out the window! “Look!” he said. “Look! It’s Gram!” And there, standing on that bird feeder in all its vibrant yellow hues, was a gorgeous Goldfinch! James and I snuggled together, him quietly saying, “I love you, Gram,” and I with tears in my eyes as we watched Gram looking our way.

The post It’s Gram!! appeared first on CoachRev.